Elegy for the Dead
by Lt. Emmeline Vakarian
Summary: And that's how Garrus Vakarian thought his world had ended: with a full dose of destruction, and a little pinch of helplessness. Yet, he somehow was still alive and she wasn't. ME-3: Destruction/Leviathan spoilers


**Act I, Scene I: Always**

Shepard looped his arm around her shoulders, and he gladly leaned some of his weight onto her as they made their way to the Normandy. His left side was badly injured, shrapnel from the tossed Mako protruding from his hip. Shepard's labored breathing kept him alert enough to be overwhelmed by her scent: metallic and musty, she smelled of battle and blood.

They made it half way up the ramp when Garrus realized what Shepard was doing.

"Take him!" Shepard called out to Kaidan, stopping her ascent onto the Normandy. He wanted to grab hold of her, to make her stay with him. He could tell she was preparing to leave him and the whole team behind.

As soon he felt Shepard unload him he quickly called out to her, "Shepard!"

His vision took a moment to refocus. What he saw horrified him. Shepard was back on the ground, too far away for him to protect her. She was already bloodied and bruised, her right shoulder plate cracked; her face was boasting a violent new scar. He reached out, straining against the grip Alenko had on him.

"You've got to get out of here!" She commanded, her voice filled with a force he had never heard before.

"And you've got to be kidding me," He replied just as adamantly, his voice straining to be audible over the sound of explosions, gun fire, and reaper wails.

"Don't argue Garrus." Her voice had become cold, distant. But the pain in her eyes reflected something entirely different: they were glassy, she was blinking furiously. It was one of the first things he had learned about human mannerisms – she was staving off tears.

She needed him. She didn't want to go on alone. She was putting on an act for them to try and protect them, but it wasn't going to fool Garrus, "We're in this to the end."

He reached out for her again as another reaper bomb crashed onto the Earth's surface, causing the Normandy troops to flank Shepard, protecting her from fire. She walked towards him, her hand resting against his cheek. Her voice was breathy, unable to hold back the pain having to truly say goodbye was inflicting, "No matter what happens here…you know I love you, I always will."

She began lightly rubbing circles against his cheek with her thumb; her soft skin, and the gentle movement always served to soothe him, their surroundings having no impact on the effect the small gesture had. His voice softened, "Emmeline…"

He was almost lost in the moment, and almost didn't finish his sentence as she began to pull away. Fortunately he came back to reality just in time to say, "…I…love you too."

As the final syllable past his lips, the warmth her hand provided was gone as she retreated back to the battle field. She gave him one last look. One last desperate glance before screaming, "GO!"

"Emmeline!" He cried out, his voice now aching with the same pain Shepard's had only moments ago.

But it was too late, she had already turned around and began to sprint towards the Citadel beam, her figure vanishing from his sight as the shuttle bay door closed.

"This is Major Alenko, I need a medical team to Shuttle Bay C now!"

"SHEPARD! EMMELINE!" Garrus began to scream, finally breaking free of Alenko's grasp. He stumbled towards the bay door, collapsing to his knees. He began slamming his fist against the door, "SHEPARD LET ME HELP YOU! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE! SHEPARD!"

Garrus let out a shriek – his biology making it impossible to cry, it was the only thing he could do to attempt to release his agony. All the fears he had ever had about losing Shepard were coming true, he began to shake. He placed his forehead against the cool metal, wishing it was Shepard's warm skin and not the door he was making contact with. He felt the pressure of a hand on his right shoulder plate.

"Get a grip," He heard Alenko harshly command, eyes now focused in front of him, "You're not the only one who had to watch her go."

Garrus knew that Kaidan and Emmeline had been close, especially during their time on the Normandy when they were chasing Saren. He was probably in pain too, but it wasn't going to make Garrus like the (in his humble opinion) xenophobic soldier any better. If anything it made him want to rip the Spectre's head off. Before Garrus could follow through on his initial impulse his vision began to fade again, his body beginning to slump over.

"HURRY! NOW!" He heard Kaidan scream into his comm.

It was the last thing Garrus heard before his world faded to black.

* * *

**Act I, Scene II: Helplessness**

"Garrus... keelah…please wake up…." Tali's voice was unmistakable, and as Garrus forced his eyes opens he was facing his Quarian friend, who was holding on to his hand, "Garrus!"

"Sh-Shepard?" Garrus managed to mumble.

Tali hesitated, and Garrus' pounding heart lurched up into his throat. Tali being at a loss for words was never a good sign. He sucked in a deep breath and tried asking again, "Where is….Shepard…?"

Again Tali could not, or chose not to respond. She released his hand, placing it down on the cot. Garrus' vision to adjust to the bright light and he realized he was in the medical lab. He let out a grunt as he tried to sit up.

That was when EDI chimed in, "Officer Vakarian, you've been out for over two hours. Unfortunately there has been no news from Commander Shepard as of yet. Joker is waiting for a hail from the Commander, and we are currently stationed outside of the Crucible protecting it from Reaper forces."

"We need to get to Shepard, she went off on her own…she needs us…" Garrus began to unplug the wires connected to him, buzzers began to sound, but they did not deter the turian rebel.

"Garrus you need to lie down!" Tali shrieked, trying to get him to say on his cot, "You need to let the medi-gel settle!"

Her words didn't register as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. Shifting his weight forward allowed for Garrus to place his feet on the ground. He then began to slowly move towards the exit.

"EDI try to get in contact with Shepard…" He inhaled deeply, a sharp pain shooting up his side, "I'm going to the helm to talk with Joker."

"Officer Vakarian, I would advise that you remain in the medical lab, your injuries are still new." EDI responded.

"I'm fine," Garrus huffed, "I'm going to the helm."

"Garrus, you're crazy! Lie down!" Tali tried to argue, but the turian shot her a glance that caused her to back off, "I'm at least coming with you!"

"Very well." EDI responded, opening the door for the two friends.

Garrus and Tali slowly made their way to the Command Center, and shuffled past the human crew who stole glances of them as they moved by. Normally this would have made Garrus uncomfortable, but nothing could surpass the discomfort his wounds were providing or the stress of losing Shepard was inflicting. Finally reaching Joker gave him some hope: if anyone could get Shepard off the Crucible in time, it was the Normandy's pilot.

"Garrus! You're alive!" Joker clamored, still concentrating on the control panel, "Heard you had a little run in with a flying Mako. Nice to know you weren't turned into a turian pancake out there."

"Heh, as am I." The turian replied, his voice ragged. That's when Garrus noticed Kaidan was also there, hovering over EDI at her terminal.

Before Garrus could say anything the Normandy shook, and Joker went into overdrive. He began talking about intense radiation pulses as the helm was slowly being coated in a bright red light.

"Joker, we have to go." Kaidan said calmly, placing a hand on the pilot's shoulder.

"WHAT?!" Garrus bellowed, his heart once again pounding in his chest, "What about Shepard? She needs us!"

"We've waited as long as we could Vakarian," Was Kaidan's reply, "Shepard would have wanted us to save the crew if we could, and we can. If we stay here we can't guarantee their safety."

"One last time EDI, just try to get in touch with Shepard one last time…" Garrus requested softly, his mandibles flaring "Please."

"Of course." EDI began to hail Shepard, but when the humanoid robot turned to him, a clearly concerned look on her face, he knew that there had been no response.

Kaidan closed his eyes and said grimly, "Joker, it's time."

"Aye, aye, Major."

And that's how Garrus Vakarian thought his world had ended: with a full dose of destruction, and a little pinch of helplessness. Yet, he somehow was still alive.


End file.
